I Just Write All My Thoughts.

Painting.

2008-07-23T05:55:20Z

I love my little erny

something about him i just fell in love with the day i seen him he was so shy and small and cute and well not really even all the cute people say he is an ugly dog but i love him.

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<3

2008-07-23T05:46:30Z

Picture252.jpg

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<3

2008-07-23T05:45:06Z

Picture237.jpg

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AAA

2008-07-22T12:13:29Z

Alone And Awake

I'm alone and awake with my thoughts again.I was just thinking how im so in love with thinking i could just space out and have little thoughts about everything i can see or everything i remember i guess you could call me a dreamer. haaaa sounds silly well i was rereading my old blogs and i found some that were aggressive and i found some old journals thats had some aggressive writing in there too . and i noticed that i can have some very aggressive thoughts. i remember why I started keeping journals because when i was smaller i wanted my future kids to read them and know all the things I've been thoughts hmmm all my life I've always wanted to be somewhere else.

some reason i always find a way to be unhappy in my most happiest place.

like...i find it and i want to share it and then by sharing it i ruin it for myself.

dammit i always hated showing people my journals because their my thoughts and my thoughts are very deep they all connect to my feeling and if someone things my thoughts hurt them then that hurts my feeling

fuuuuck .! how can i be less confusing. I am a person who need my own space and my own time I love being alone and time to myself is the most perfect feeling. It gives me a sense of safety.

i always need to vent i dont understand ....i shouldnt have to always need to vent i have someone to talk to but i just cant do it i just cant say what is really on my mind i cant say why i feel misirable or why im crying or why anything

Im just am one crazy person there is one pat of me that is just so over the top and insane that im trying to suppress but its slipping out of me because I'm not doing a very good job at suppressing it and for that.. i have done some of the worst things in my life. can people really change i know i'm so impulsive but can i change that ? uggghhhh i like being impulsive and random and or systematic clockwork. i like what i do and i like doing what i do and things that i do and i like do them when i do them but !

when someone else whats me to change i honestly think its impossible.

ughh

where did i even go with this blog i just jumped from one thing to another

anyways!

today i found myself looking at my phonebook and looking at all the dumb numbers i had i didnt wanna call anyone because i really have nothing to say to them you know.... so then i called someone after all because i know i could talk to this person about mostly anything but nope he wasn't there THANKS A LOT FOR NOT BEING THERE!!!!!

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i wanted to repost

2008-07-22T11:34:53Z

this old blog

who is who they say they are ?

who is who they say they are ? ask yourself this question i ask myself that all the time who can be trusted and who can not be trusted who makes mistake and who cares?
before i judge the world and before i get judged id like you to send write me an essay tell me who you are and where you came from ugggghh my jokes are horrible and life is stale and i feel great and healthy but im not the end is too soon or too far and too long and too short and i am myself and i can see what i am doing with my things and my mouth and my words i know all i have is my word and my words so i try to use them wise: "ass fuck shit dick pussy" i say it all but 2 i dont say bitch i dont say slut

hmmmm i'd like to hug everyone i can see as far as my eyes can go i know a hug is friendly and kind it isn't wrong or flirty i know i can bring someone a smile with one little hug one litlle hug can lead to so many things so id rather just hug myself today

me and ernie laid on the floor today while i smoked a cigarette

i wonder what he thinks about smoking? he doesnt talk but does he have thoughts? and if he does what langues is it in? who knows maybe he speaks spanish or french and ill never know whats in his little head

animals are amazing and life is amazing and bodies are amazing anything that is living is amazing to me like someone tells me to get them water i do it someone is telling me to but who is telling ernie to drink water? what inside his is telling him to do things that he dose ...you know like he knows not to pee in the house? ive never trained him he just already knows not to he's so smart and so lonely i caught him and ferris having sex yesterday i left them alone do dogs do it for plessure? or to mate? this is so weird how they live lives right under my nose do dogs sings songs in their heads?question?when a dog barks is he talking or warning???like when i scream to warn someone im screaming not talking
so when a dog barks is she screaming to warn someone? or trying to speak to us ??
like trying to have a conversation like people talk to dogs so do dogs ever try to strike a conversation when were alone? ...among each other or with us? if a dog is talking when he barks does that mean...in his head with his cionsions he barks all day long?? example: my mother is from mexico her fist langues is spanish in her head her consions she speaks spanish if i went to italy i wouldnt speak italian in my head id still speak english so do dogs bark in their head all day long ..........%^*$#!!!!!

think about it ... us life the world
saying that dogs bark in their head is only assumings that barking is talking and not scream..
you should think about this...and take everything in to detail everything about life
see i can take this small thing and make it so big but thats just one small thing in the world ive noticed and i havent moved towns i only imagine what else is waiting for me in the world.

i know i space out some times i know i trip out sometimes

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us.

2008-07-22T11:12:28Z

bobby

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Hey :)

2008-07-22T10:00:09Z

Hey Man where ya been? ooooh thats good. :) :) :) :)

I'm glad your find and well and I'm sorry i've been neglecting you.

haaa I mean your not "malnourished" or anything like that just well (hehehe) .... Today I passed by were you work. and I thought of you buddy.I thought he must be working right now or something. Anyways hope your reading this if not then I just wrote this for nothing.

p.s.for some reason this is the happiest I've ever been while typing a blog

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i suck.

2008-07-21T23:05:03Z

i ate dinner at Hard Rock and

I stayed out till 5AM sunday morning

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heres a sad picture of me

2008-07-20T01:48:55Z

IMG_0325

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brains

2008-07-20T01:43:06Z

i was thinking about how

left handed people think with the right side of the brain and right handed people think

with the left side of the brain.

the right hemisphere does a different job than the left. The right hemisphere deals more with visual activities and plays a role in putting things together. For example, it takes visual information, puts it together, and says "I recognize that--that's a chair," or "that's a car" or "that's a house." It organizes or groups information together. The left hemisphere tends to be the more analytical part; it analyzes information collected by the right. It takes information from the right hemisphere and applies language to it. The right hemisphere "sees" a house, but the left hemisphere says, "Oh yeah, I know whose house that is--it's Uncle Bob's house."

The left side of the brain deals more with language and helps to analyze information given to the brain. If you injure the left side of the brain, you're aware that things aren't working (the right hemisphere is doing its job) but are unable to solve complex problems or do a complex activity. People with left hemisphere injuries tend to be more depressed, have more organizational problems, and have problems using language.

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